


FMAB chatfic

by ToasterBath24



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Automail, Other, Texting, chatfic, texting au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:34:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29795442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToasterBath24/pseuds/ToasterBath24
Summary: This is gonna be a chatfic set in a fmab universe where there’s more technology. All events with be the same as fmab.
Relationships: Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric & Winry Rockbell
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. orphans but make it country

**Author's Note:**

> Hope this isn’t too bad 
> 
> I wanted to write something after staying alive for a month so here we are 
> 
> You should be able to figure out the names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> group chat fic yes yes

**orphans but make it country**

  
  
  


Krazy Mechanic: why are you on the news????

Krazy Mechanic: ed??????

Krazy Mechanic: al??????

Krazy Mechanic: IS THAT SCAR   
  
Krazy Mechanic: WHAT IS ED DOING   
  
Krazy Mechanic: DID HIS ARM JUST GET DESTROYUDBS 

Krazy Mechanic: WTF IS HAPPENING 

  
  


14 cats in an armor suit: uhh 

14 cats in an armor suit: serial killer attacks teen with short complex?

  
  


Krazy Mechanic: WHAT 

Krazy Mechanic: WHAT DID ED FUCKING DO

14 cats in an armor suit: IDK 

14 cats in an armor suit: WE WERE BEING DEPRESSED IN THE RAIN WHEN SCR SHOWS IP 

14 cats in an armor suit: and is all like ‘you sick alchemists are the reason for pollution and war crimes’

14 cats in an armor suit: AND THEN BROTHER TYRS TO SCRAFIDE HMISELD 

  
  


Krazy Mechanic: WH A T 

Krazy Mechanic: THE NEWS DID N O T CBVER THAT PART 

Krazy Mechanic: IS HE OKAY 

Krazy Mechanic: like is he worse than usual 

  
  


14 cats in an armor suit: well he’s at the hospotal rn but ill let you know when he wakes up

  
  


Krazy Mechanic: k 

Krazy Mechanic:be safe 

  
  


Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: IM ALIVE BITCHS 

Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: v sore but alibe 

  
  


Krazy Mechanic: HR LIVES    
  
Krazy Mechanic: DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT AGAIN 

Krazy Mechanic: seriously we were scared 

  
  


Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: sorry 

Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: gonna be real honest here 

Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: i was too

Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: and smthinj rllay bad had jsut gone down 

Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: so i kinda jsut gave upp 

  
  


Krazy Mechanic: ed no 

Krazy Mechanic: dont ever do that again 

  
  


Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: i wont i swear winry 

  
  


Krazy Mechanic: and call me when youre ready to talk 

  
  


Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: okay 

  
  


14 cats in an armor suit: hate to interupt this romantically charged bonding session but

14 cats in an armor suit: brother broke his arm 

14 cats in an armor suit: the metal one lol 

  
  


Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: IT WASNT ROMANTICALLY CHARGED

  
  


Krazy Mechanic: IT WASNT ROMANTICALLY CHARGED

  
  


14 cats in a suit of armor: YOUR DOING IT AGAIN 

  
  


Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: AM NOT 

Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: AND ITS YOU’RE*

  
  


Krazy Mechanic: GRAMMAR IS THE THING YOU CARE ABOUT RN    
  


Krazy Mechanic: WUTH AN ARM TORN OFF    
  


Krazy Mechanic: AFTER YOU FOUGHT A SRIAL KILLER 

  
  


Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: YES 

Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: F^CK EVERYONE IM GOING BACK TO BED 

  
  


Krazy Mechanic: GOOD 

  
  


14 cats in a suit of armor: GOOD

*****************

Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: winryyyyyyyy

Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: can you fix my armmmmmm

  
  


Krazy Mechanic: how bad 

  
  


Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: uh 

Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: bad 

Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: like very bad 

  
  


Krazy Mechanic: come home bad?

  
  


14 cats in a suit of armor: yes but he wont admit it

  
  


Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: AL   
  


Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: YOU SNTCH 

  
  


14 cats in a suit of armor: it's SNITCH*

  
  


Krazy Mechanic: HAHHAHHAHAH 

  
  


Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: AL 

Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: HOW DARE YOU 

  
  


Krazy Mechanic: good job al 

Krazy Mechanic: but if ed kills yout its not my fault 

  
  


14 cats in a suit of armor: brothers too nice tpo do that 

  
  


Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: Wanna try me? 

  
  


14 cats in a suit of armor: THE FACT THTAT YOU USED PROPER SPELLLING N SHIT IS MORE TERRIFUNG THSB ANYTHING ELSE 

  
  


Krazy Mechanic: sorry al

Krazy Mechanic: i tried yo warn you 

Krazy Mechanic: but noooo

Krazy Mechanic: ‘brither is a softie’ ‘brother is too nice’ my ^ss

  
  


14 cats in a suit of armor: i can now confirm

14 cats in a suit of armor: brother is not a softie 

14 cats in a suit of armor: he is instead v v deadly 

  
  


Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: damn straight

  
  


Krazy Mechanic: also when r you coming home? I wanna prepare 

  
  


Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: uh 

Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: probably another day 

  
  


Krazy Mechanic: it's ben so long since i last saw uou guys\

  
  


Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: ikr 

Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: itll be good to see you 

  
  


Krazy Mechanic: AWWWWW JE DOES CARE

  
  


14 cats in a suit of armor: HAHHAHAHHAHAH

Met god, 0/10 would not recommend: HUSH


	2. kernal horse squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what goes on in team mustangs group chat?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long 
> 
> i wrote this while watching the great gatsby(2013)

Heymans breda = Hey man 

Vato fallman = Mr falling man 

Jean havoc= smoky 

Kain fuery= normal 

Riza hawkeye= braincells 

Maes hughes= No 1 elicia stan 

Roy Mustang= Neigh Neigh Leader 

  
  


kernel horse squad 

  
  


Smoky: hahah mustang was useless again wsnt he 

  
  


Braincells: yes.

Braincells: he was.

  
  


Mr falling man: HAHAHAH if hawkeye says it we know it must be true 

  
  


Neigh Neigh Leader: i hate everyone 

Neigh Neigh Leader: each and every one of you 

  
  


Smoky: f

  
  


Mr falling man: f

  
  


Normal: f 

  
  


No 1 elicia stan: f 

  
  


Hey man: f

  
  


Smoky: come on hawkeye 

Smoky: contribute to his misery

  
  


Braincells: what's in it for me? 

  
  


Neigh Neigh Leader: LT 

Neigh Neigh Leader: DON'T BETRY ME 

  
  


Smoky: ill get you the good coffee every dya for two week s

  
  


Braincells: why would i need coffee? don’t we have a machine? 

  
  


Hey man: uh oh 

Hey man: well

  
  


Normal: they broke it 

  
  


Braincells: who? and how exactly?

  
  


Normal: hughes chalenged chief to chug a pot of black coffee and he did, but then they laughed so hard that they knoced the machine over 

  
  


No 1 elicia stan: WHYD YOU TELL HER IT WAS ME

No 1 elicia stan: NOOOOOOO 

  
  


Neigh Neigh Leader: haha this is payback 

  
  


Braincell: hush.

  
  


Neigh Neigh Leader: yes maam 

  
  


Hey man: whipped 

  
  


Smoky: HAHHAHAH HES RIGHT 

  
  


Mr falling man: heyman is always right 

Mr falling man: except for that time 

  
  


Normal: We Don’t Speak Of It 

  
  


Hey man: Nope. :)

  
  


Smoky: :)

  
  


No 1 eleicia stan: :)

  
  


Mr falling man: :)

  
  


Neigh Neigh Leader: do i even wanna know 

Neigh Neigh Leader: i bett it involves fullmetal 

Normal: you don't wann know 

Smoky: seriously 

Smoky: never letting the kid do weed again 

Braincell: what 

Hey man: WAIT WAIT WAIT YOUVR SAID TI MUCHMNS

  
  


Neigh Neigh Leader: how 

Neigh Neigh Leader: what possessed yuo to give a 15 yo weed 

  
  


Normal: for the record, it wasnt my idea

  
  


Braincell: noted. Your punishment will be lessened after this info is verified. 

  
  


Hey man: IT WASNT MY IDEA EITHER 

Hey man: IT WAS HAVOCS    
  
Hey man: ALL HIS 

  
  


Smoky: HEY 

  
  


Braincell: you will all be getting the paperwork that hasn’t been completed over the last 2 months. 

  
  


Mr falling man: NOOOOOOO

  
  


Braincell: all of you will also sit in on my talk wil him about drugs. each of you will write fullmetal and apology for introducing him to weed. 

  
  


Smoky: at least she only knows about the weed

  
  


Mr falling man: NO 

Mr falling man: YOU IDIOT \

  
  


Normal: this wont end well 

  
  


Hey man: do we confess 

  
  


Neigh Neigh Leader: yes i wanna hear 

  
  


No 1 elicia stan: well it started when we got to talking about alcohol 

No 1 elicia stan: we all figured hed be a light wieight 

No 1 elicia stan: until he remindd us that chief was from a country village and had been drinking wasa tradition 

  
  


Hey man: so this brought us to the topid of weed

Hey man: would he get zonked easily because hes puny and missing limbs

  
  


No 1 elicia stan: so we brought edibles 

No 1 elicia stan: an d it all went downhill from there 

  
  


Mr falling man: we may have took him to a bar 

Mr falling man: and we all might have gotte shit faced

  
  


Normal: someone took chief into a backrokm anf did his makeup, and he ended up wearing a skirt 

  
  


Braincell: i fear it will get worse. not that the crossdressing part is bad. 

  
  


No 1 elicia stan: right

No 1 elicia stan: so remember the report of a mysterious blonde person who took down two gangs and was never found 

  
  


Neigh Neigh Leader: DON'T TELL MEIT WAS FULLMETAL    
  


No 1 elicia stan: he also happened to be the one who sporked the mp office 

  
  


Braincell: sporked?

  
  


Hey man: he covered the entirre yard in sporks and it was like they were cemented in there 

  
  


No 1 elicia stan: nd then he disappeared for 4 hours 

No 1 elicia stan: we still dont knwo what he did 

No 1 elicia stan: chief just gets this really smug look on him whenever we bring it up

No 1 elicia stan: he does his evil laugh thing 

  
  


Neigh Neigh Leader: my god 

Neigh Neigh Leader: i dont know wether to laugh, cry, or figure out what he did 

  
  


Smoky: do the latter i wanna know too 

  
  


Braincell: … 

Braincell: i am thoroughly disappointed in you all.

Normal: technically we gave him a talk the dasy after, about how he shouldnt make a habit of getting high because hes young and didn't have proper supervision 

  
  


Braincell: hmm.

Braincell: well, consider me slightly less disappointed 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it obvious i know nothing about weed 
> 
> or alcohol 
> 
> also please comment im lonely n sad

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment or suggestion on what I should do next


End file.
